“In the absence of communication, the worst will be assumed.”
This is something I’ve heard my father-in-law say. My wife has repeated it to me a several times too.
The principle goes like this: if you, the leader, do not communicate expectations and responsibilities in a consistent manner to your team, the worst outcome will follow. Test this and you’ll see that it is true. Most of us can look back on the arguments, outbursts, and heated debates in our lives and attribute the majority of them to simple miscommunication.
At some point in the process (business, personal, ministry, marriage…etc.) the person with the information did not properly distribute the information, to make it sound oh so technical. In reality if you didn’t tell the other person what they needed to know AND confirm that they UNDERSTOOD it…you failed.
I experienced that the hard way. At church where I acted as Student Minister, I failed to communicate expectations to my volunteer Bible study teachers. It caused some hurt feelings and one of them nearly quit out right. Fortunately, they cared enough about the teens, the Bible study ministry, and about the way I was treating them to confront me.
The told me they felt unimportant. I had begun taking over their teaching duties more and more because I felt it was easier to do it my self than train somebody else to do it. I had also assumed that they wanted a lighter load and less of a commitment to teaching each week. Also, I was not informing them of what new curriculum we would use in the coming months…I simply sprung the change on them the day of…which gave me more justification to take the teaching duties myself and not trouble them with having to learn the new material.
More and more they were simply sitting in class not teaching while I was taking control of everything.
My lack of communication left them to believe that they were simply being pushed out of the Bible study because, for reasons unknown to them, I didn’t respect them or believe that they were up to the job of teaching our teens.
They confronted me and …I’ll be honest…their words stung – a whole lot. But they had the right to feel that way and I had to take ownership of my problem and correct it.
Leaders -communicate, set expectations and goals, be clear, be open, ask for feedback repeatedly, and take ownership of the situation.
Have you seen what happens in the absence of communication?
[...] KEY #2. Communicate not only vision but expectations to your team. Vision gives inspiration and direction to begin the race. Expectation tells us when to start running and how fast. Don’t forget to communicate either. You can read more about my shortcomings in this area here. [...]
By: Handing Over the Keys « Shaver's Razor on May 25, 2010
at 11:47 AM
I thought of this at the first sentence and have felt more impressed upon to share it with every sentence after and the comments too: “you are never NOT communicating.” We need to remember to LIVE as Christian activists, not just Christian rule keepers (to quote someone who quoted me…). Thanks for sharing your leading thoughts Aaron.
By: Steve Grossman on April 2, 2010
at 6:15 PM
This is so true Aaron. I feel like most of my greatest misunderstandings and challenges in leadership come back to the issue of communication.
By: Jenni Catron on April 2, 2010
at 2:28 PM
Jenni,
Thanks for adding your voice to this conversation. I really appreciate your input as a leader.
By: Aaron Shaver on April 2, 2010
at 7:51 PM
Well-said, Aaron. This is WAY bigger than just leadership – affecting every relationship.
I can certainly see times in my life where I didn’t communicate effectively – vision, expectations, reasons, and more. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of and certainly not something that I have now overcome and am perfect.
I think the core reason I don’t communicate better (or in a more timely manner) is fear. I assume that the other person (or people) will respond to me or my ideas in a negative manner, so I have a tendency to want to avoid that experience.
The downside, however, is that I am more likely to be received poorly if I don’t communicate well and put things off.
Thank you for the reminder. I’ll try to do better. And with God’s help, I’m sure I will.
By: Bryan Entzminger on April 2, 2010
at 10:41 AM
Good points. On a micro-level, I have done and will continue to do the same things you did. I slip into the same mentality, which I think is – at the base – a selfish one. I think that I am the only one that understands my vision for the situation so I am the best suited to handle it. In those situations I stop being a leader.
I think the church as a whole has a similar problem. I don’t think the church leads. I think it manages. I see a couple reasons why the church is the way it is when we talk about communication failures:
1. I dont think the church puts an emphasis on communicating like it does the other parts of being a so-called leader. We focus on “preparing” “leaders” by teaching them the Word, how to study and create studies, and how to manage the groups we will or do “lead.”
2. We think managing is the same thing as leading. We can’t prepare to be a leader. At any given moment we either are or we aren’t a leader. It takes followers to be a leader. To be a leader is to communicate. No one can follow without understanding where the leader is going.
But the problem I see in most churches is that we focus on making Christian rulekeepers, not Christian activists; people who know what to do and what not to do but don’t understand why. This leads to a shallow Christianity without any long term prospects for Christians.
Steve Grossman said it like this, “We’ve been lulled into a self-satisfying waiting game believing that we’ve been given eternal life with God.” That quote is on my wall at work. So far, I haven’t been fired [crosses fingers].
Today’s generation wants to be a part of something real and something bigger than we are. We want to know what God wants from us *and* we want to know how we can participate. This takes leaders who step up and share clear a clear vision.
By: Scott Asher on April 2, 2010
at 12:16 AM
It is interesting that the Greek word for fellowship is koinonia…also speaks of communion, common, co-munnication (co indicating with someone else). As we kommunicate with koinonia…we share life in the Son…and when we don’t kommunicate with koinonia…we are not sharing the life. Thanks for the encouragment to share life with one another.
By: Rodney boyd on April 1, 2010
at 11:42 PM
Totally understand what you’re saying. Been there done that. Don’t want to repeat it. In groups I’ve led, I would think that it would just be a whole lot easier to manage everything and do it all myself, and like you said, it would take some pressure off the people who were on my team. But it never turned out that way. People just got frustrated with the process and with me as a leader. And I can understand that frustration because I’ve been on the receiving end of bad communication too. When I don’t know what my leader/boss/supervisor needs me to do and what the intended outcome is, I don’t know where to begin.
I’ve also seen communication work really well where team members can buy into a vision and have direct and consistent communication with a leader…it makes all the difference.
By: Andy Whisenant on April 1, 2010
at 4:05 PM
Thanks, Andy. I’m glad to hear someone else has been through this before.
What do you wish you could tell the leaders who fail to communicate when you are on the receiving end?
By: Aaron Shaver on April 1, 2010
at 4:14 PM
I guess I would say to a leader that it’s extremely helpful and assuring to your followers/team members that they be kept in the loop throughout the process. I don’t have to know everything at once, but tell me the information that I need to know in a clear and understandable way. And then double check to make sure I comprehend what you’re asking me to do.
By: Andy Whisenant on April 1, 2010
at 4:34 PM
This is an outstanding post. The lack of clear communication and confirmation that that information is mutually understood is among the most prevalent shortfall of leaders. This statement by Aaron could not be more clear “Leaders -communicate, set expectations and goals, be clear, be open, ask for feedback repeatedly, and take ownership of the situation.” Nice work Aaron.
By: Barry on April 1, 2010
at 3:20 PM
Thanks, Barry.
I really appreciate your comments.
By: Aaron Shaver on April 1, 2010
at 4:18 PM