Shaver's Razor

I like my life right now.

I say that at the beginning of this post because I’m going to now tell you some things that may seem down about my life.

Some things may seem unhappy or uncomfortable or just not where you’d want to be.

My wife and I are searching for …a lot, frankly, in the way of direction. We are searching for direction primarily in where God is taking us job-wise. Most of you know I am on the job hunt because I felt God calling me to a full-time position in ministry. So I left the part-time position at a good church and am now doing the resume/interview dance with several churches. In the past 3 months I’ve said “no thanks” to some of those churches and some of those churches have said “no thanks” to me. We have options. But, Elaina and I are searching for direction. We are asking God for a direction.

At the same time, we just had our first baby,  Caius William Shaver. That is an adjustment to put it simply. Focusing on our marriage relationship has just taken on a new responsibility. Our life is now full of feedings, changings, doctor’s appointments, car seats, sleepless nights…etc. He’s only 6 weeks old but I can’t help but keep thinking about the next 12 to 20 years over and over and over.

Elaina and I live in a rented home …that we love in a town that we love. Which means all this searching for a direction in the ministry/job field will probably cause us to leave the little home and town we love. Maybe not …but, maybe.

Elaina and I also live paycheck-to-paycheck…which has taught us a lot. Most importantly, it has taught us how rich we are with family and friends. God has blessed us with family and a community who knows us and loves us and would never let us go without food for us or clothes for the baby. Our means come from beyond ourselves. And we are thankful for that.

Most every night, whenever Caius wakes us up and Elaina and I are half-alive and trying to take care of him…I will look over at my wife. With a groggy voice I will utter simply, “I like our life.” And she smiles at me.

A wise man told me to remember these times that seem tough now. “Because, one day you’ll be employed in a church full-time. Things will be good. Financially good. And, you’ll get comfortable. And, in that comfort you’ll forget each other.”

I like my life because I know I’m alive.

I like my life because I am in a place where I must rely on God for needs.

I like my life because my wife and I have to intentionally love each other in the middle of the uncertainty for the future.