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Ever since I was a little girl, my mom has carried out the grand southern tradition of wearing a hat on Easter.  This is a tradition that has fallen somewhat out of practice for whatever reason…fashion trends of the day or churches with casual dress codes or just disinterest, but not with my mom.  There have only been a very few Easters in my memory that she has ever gone without her Easter hat.  And don’t forget there is also the very enjoyable and grand tradition of shopping for the perfect Easter dress, shoes, purse and matching jewelry that goes along with the hat tradition. 

When I was little I wore actual Easter bonnets and I don’t mind telling you, I was adorable!  But as I got older and became more and more self-conscience of what others might or might not be thinking about me, I stopped wearing hats.  I was also utterly mortified that my mom continued to wear a hat when no one else would. 

Why on Earth would she want to do something that no one else was doing? Why would she want to have everyone looking at her and seeing how different she was?  Why was she doing this to me???

I was the girl with the mom who wore hats on Easter! 

Oh, the embarrassment I felt as a teenager!!!

You see in those days, I didn’t connect with my mom.  I loved her very much, but we had different ideas about what clothes were cute (or appropriate) and we fought a lot about stuff.  Even as I write this it’s hard to remember what we fought about…

But all in all we didn’t talk much, we didn’t connect much and we didn’t really get along well so the Easter hat debacle was generally just icing on the embarrassing cake.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I started opening up to my mom in college.  We stopped fighting.  I started to understand her more. Moving away from home and having to do things on your own have a way of making you appreciate the times when you had help…especially from your mom. 

And then it happened.  When I went home for Easter my freshman year of college I proudly wore an Easter hat with my mom.  Then the next year I brought my best friend home with me and we all wore hats.  The year after that I brought my best friend AND my roommate. And since then there hasn’t been a year that we haven’t carried on this grand tradition.

You see my search for an Easter Bonnet had very little to do with a hat.  My search was for my mom, for a deeper relationship with her: to understand her more and therefore understand myself more.

Where is my Mom?  She’s the one wearing the fantastic Easter hat.  Where am I?  Well I’m the one wearing a fantastic hat right next to her.

I’ve taken this philosophy in regard to people in general. It’s an overall observation I’ve made regarding …well, everybody at every age and from every walk of life.

We don’t really change over the years. From childhood to adolescence to adult years, at our very core, we don’t change. I’ve learned this mostly from observing my son. He’s 6 months old. When he wants something he cries. Sometimes he whines and sometimes he shouts but he always gets your attention. What does he want? Anything really. Sometimes he shouts just to make you look at him. Sometimes he whines because he wants you to pick him up or give him his pacifier. He cries when he’s hungry.

Here’s the thing: a little baby, like my son, is only aware of his immediate needs and wants. And, at his age he makes no distinction between a need and a want. He will cry, shout or whine to get anything he wants. Babies are selfish. Babies are generally unaware of others. Babies do not see the “big picture”.

As we grow older, I don’t believe we really change. We simply become more civilized. We learn manners. We learn not to shout or cry or stomp our feet when we get hungry. But on the inside we still demand others to meet our immediate wants and needs and we rarely make a distinction between those two.

On the inside, we are still the center of our world. We do not see the “big picture”.

My son doesn’t know that mom is trying to do laundry and I’m about to burn dinner and we can’t pick him up right now. So he cries louder. I feel like God hears our cries and thinks “don’t you see what I’m preparing for you? Don’t you see how I’ve already provided?”

Now imagine where teenagers are in this spectrum of behavior. Teens are still very deep in the childlike world-revolves-around-me mentality. But, their needs, wants, concerns, and sorrows have matured. In their teen years, they’ve become more angsty and have begun to move away from their parents emotionally -maybe even physically.

For teens, the wants and needs are still there and still just as immediate but altered. And, they haven’t fully developed the filters adults possess for navigating social scenes. Also, teenagers tend to withdraw from the very people who can understand and supply their needs and wants, their own parents.

The teen years -you’re not a child and you’re not an adult. So where do you fit? What behavior is expected?

We never really change over the years. We are all children. We simply learn different ways to not show it.

Just last night he sent me a Facebook message about an idea for my website. In the course of messaging each other back and forth, he laid down some real concerns for the teens he works with on a daily basis…and not just concern for the teens he works with but this whole internet generation. He told me how he’s picked up on a number of disturbing trends that he sees from the kids in his classroom everyday. Trends like ‘sexting‘, or digital piracy, or …worse. Now, my friend is not a prude so let me say that the worry, urgency, and concern he expressed in his messages to me communicated that the behavior and attitudes of these teens genuinely shocked him.

Shocked. Him.

It seems that every generation somehow finds the bar for decency lowered from the previous generation. Consider this: if a boy growing up in my father’s generation wanted to look at pornography, he’d have to go to walk/drive to a store that sold a magazine with that stuff in it. Then he’d have to buy it at the counter and bring it home to his mom and dad’s house. Then he’d have to hide it in his room. Today, if a boy wants to look at pornography he can find it online in about 5 seconds. And, when he’s done looking I bet most preteen and teenage boys know how to erase evidence of websites they’d viewed online.

The world has changed even since I graduated high school. A parent can be diligent in monitoring where their child is going and who they are hanging out with. But in today’s world that is only a fraction of the battle. Now you have to check what websites they’re visiting, what they are talking about across text messages, who’s ‘friending’ them on Facebook, and a myriad of other trends they could be falling into right in the safety of your own home.

Parents, please be aware of what trends and technologies your teen comes in contact with everyday. Know that there are tools available to you to help you know exactly what your teen is saying to their friends through text messages. There is a website that I use and highly recommend called www.CovenantEyes.com that will monitor all internet activity. I recommend this particular tool because it can’t be by-passed since its not a filter…it just records every sited that is visited and sends a report to a monitor/mentor of your choosing.

Realistically, your teen/preteen/child is going to be exposed to things and even take part in behaviors that you can’t control. But, you can develop proper attitudes and, most importantly, trust. Trust is achieved through establishing boundaries and then allowing freedom with in those boundaries. But you can’t establish boundaries or trust if you don’t know world these teens are living in today. Their world is very different then the one I, or even you, grew up in…because so much of their world exists digitally.

Relationships.

Arguments.

Love.

Flirting.

Bullying.

All happening on a digital playing field. And we might be none the wiser.

Digital. But just as real.

I want to  let you know of  a transition that is already taking place on this blog.

Last week I announced the launch of  my new website www.shaversrazor.com. The new website is  the culmination of my desire to minister to youth and serve local churches. I’ll be using the new Shaver’s Razor website to post cool videos, answer teens’ tough questions about life and God, and share amazing links and resources for youth ministry.

BLOG TRANSITION

The Shaver’s Razor blog will now transition into more posts covering the topics of youth ministry and I intend the blog to act as a help to youth workers and churches with youth ministries.

“But, Aaron,” you may say, “is this new and revised blog something I’ll wanna read?”

If you are the parent of a teen(s)…

If you have children who will one day become teens…

If you were once long ago a teen and can relate…

If you are involved in a church that has a youth ministry…

If you are part of  a church staff and want to develop you youth ministry…

If you are a youth pastor who wants to grow and develop your youth…

THEN, THE NEW BLOG WILL BE FOR YOU.

Be sure to check the new website at www.shaversrazor.com and find the link to the blog on the RESOURCES page.

Last week I read my friend Bryan’s blog about the virtue of patience and his thoughts on the subject are sticking with me.

Reading Bryan’s blog I realized that I too have a problem with patience…but who doesn’t, right. What struck me while reading Bryan’s post was just how often and how easily I place limits, markers, …deadlines on God. Yeah. It goes something like this:

GOD: Aaron, be ready to pick up and go where I tell you to go.

ME: Yes, sir!

one week later

ME: GOD, I’ve found exactly the place you want me to go! Thanks so much for your help!

GOD: Aaron, I didn’t tell you to go there.

ME: Well…not yet you didn’t …but I’ve faithfully waited on you for a week now.

GOD: I didn’t tell you to go there.

ME: Right… but I know you would have…it’s perfect right. And, no need to wait if I’ve already found what I -I mean, you want for me!

I like to think I’m ready to be faithful to God’s calling on my life like Abraham was faithful and like Moses was faithful. But how long would I wait for Him to say “GO”? Especially right now, while I am searching for the next step in ministry employment, I find myself tempted to impose a deadline on God to reveal His plan.

And, if He doesn’t come through on that deadline…will I convince myself that my impatient scheme is really His calling on my life?

I’ve been brutally honest and open about myself.

How about you? Do you impose deadlines on God?

Transparency is a word I’ve seen used often on church websites. Or, I’ve heard it from a lead pastor describing to the congregation a pivotal behavior emulated by the staff/leadership at their church. Sometimes the actual word may not be used but instead I hear synonymous words like authenticity, honesty, real…etc. Usually, it goes something like, “Here at _________ Church we just want to be honest and let you see that we are broken and messed up people too. We ALL are in need of a savior.”

I tell you this because I believe this emphasis on being real, being honest, being transparent in the church is not just a fad but it is the currency of leadership to the GenX and GenY (or Millenial) generations.

THE ABOVE IS JUST A OFA POST I WROTE FOR ANDY WHISENANT’S BLOG. FOR MORE, YOU’LL HAVE TO VISIT HIS SITE HERE.

Today’s post is from Andy Whisenant -Christian, humanitarian, and mac & cheese connoisseur. You can catch his thoughts on life and follow his journey at his blog, Andy in Progress. Also, be sure to follow Andy on Twitter: @andywhiz

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I was posed a question the other day that, if I’m completely honest, has been bugging the heck out of me because I’m afraid of what the answer to that question really is.

My pastor was teaching the other day and asked a question that stopped me dead in my tracks…

“What voices are you allowing to lead you?”

Ouch. That one kind of stung because I think know I’ve been avoiding dealing with the ramifications of how I answer that question for a long time.

I eventually sat down and started to think through what voices I let lead my thinking and understanding of who God is and who I am. More often than I’d like to admit, I listen to the crappy voices in my head who try to tell me who I am. Maybe you’ve heard these voices too…

·                 The voice that says I’m not good enough

·                 The voice that says I’m not qualified

·                 The voice that says I’m not experienced enough

·                 The voice that says I’m just a failure

·                 The voice that says my past defines who I am

·                 The voice that says what I do determines my value as a person

·                 The voice that says I’m not worthy of God’s love

·                 The voice that says I’m too far gone for grace

·                 The voice that says I’m too messed up to be used by God

Yeah, I know what you’re going to say…those things aren’t who I really am in Christ. And I would agree with you. It’s just that sometimes, those other voices are so loud, it makes it hard to hear the one voice that makes any sense. (Be patient, I’m still working through this whole following Christ thing.)

I get to points in my life where I listen to these other voices more than anything else. I let them define me and shape me. I get to the point where I hear these voices so much that what they’re saying becomes truth in my mind.

But when I look at this thing we call the gospel story, I hear a whole different voice speaking to me.

I hear hope. Hope for myself and for everyone else who hears these voices bouncing around in their heads telling them they’re a nobody.

Because of this “good news” Jesus spent His time talking about, I can begin to understand who I really am because of who He says I am, not because of what I think about who I am.

Rob Bell argues that “the gospel is the counterintuitive, joyous, exuberant news that Jesus has brought the unending, limitless, stunning love of God to even us.”

This news changes everything. This gospel story screams loudly that I am loved, not rejected. It says I can live in hope, not despair. It says I can know peace, not unrest. It says I am unarguably, unconditionally, irrevocably, eternally loved by the Creator.

And so are you.

So may we learn to listen to this voice that is constantly screaming the beautiful reality of the gospel story.

If nobody has ever said that than I just did and you can quote me. But we all understand what that quote means. The significance of the word “love” is lost if you frequently apply it to how you feel about favorite foods or designer clothing.

Michael Kelley believes much of the language describing the Christian faith has lost its meaning. And, he’s fighting to rescue it.

I just finished reading through HOLY VOCABULARY, a new Bible study from LifeWay Press. This is Michael Kelley’s latest work within LifeWay’s Threads Department which specializes in Bible study media for young adults.

HOLY VOCABULARY is a group study experience that prompts discussion and study of the themes presented…so, reading it on my own didn’t quite give me the full effect. But I have to say, even without the chatty debate among friends, I relished it!

Michael has structured this study over seven themes (God, Humanity, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Church, End Times, Scripture) that allow the discussion of several common words of the Christian faith…like sin, holy, fruit, lost, sanctify, filled…etc. As the cover states, this Bible study is an endeavor to rescue “the language of [Christian] faith.” Michael isn’t shy about laying out the Biblical context for why sin is called sin, …and why Jesus calls unbelievers “lost”. Even from the first chapter, the word “holy” is given a stronger context when Michael shares the story of God striking dead the man who touched the Ark of the Covenant. That would be a story most pastors would avoid sharing on a Sunday sermon but Michael utilizes that passage to regain the full significance of that word…HOLY.

HOLY VOCABULARY is concise, direct, strong in theology and ripe for discussion.

If you want to order this Bible study for your small group or personal study, check it out here.

You can also view a promo video for HOLY VOCABULARY at Michael’s blog here.

I say that at the beginning of this post because I’m going to now tell you some things that may seem down about my life.

Some things may seem unhappy or uncomfortable or just not where you’d want to be.

My wife and I are searching for …a lot, frankly, in the way of direction. We are searching for direction primarily in where God is taking us job-wise. Most of you know I am on the job hunt because I felt God calling me to a full-time position in ministry. So I left the part-time position at a good church and am now doing the resume/interview dance with several churches. In the past 3 months I’ve said “no thanks” to some of those churches and some of those churches have said “no thanks” to me. We have options. But, Elaina and I are searching for direction. We are asking God for a direction.

At the same time, we just had our first baby,  Caius William Shaver. That is an adjustment to put it simply. Focusing on our marriage relationship has just taken on a new responsibility. Our life is now full of feedings, changings, doctor’s appointments, car seats, sleepless nights…etc. He’s only 6 weeks old but I can’t help but keep thinking about the next 12 to 20 years over and over and over.

Elaina and I live in a rented home …that we love in a town that we love. Which means all this searching for a direction in the ministry/job field will probably cause us to leave the little home and town we love. Maybe not …but, maybe.

Elaina and I also live paycheck-to-paycheck…which has taught us a lot. Most importantly, it has taught us how rich we are with family and friends. God has blessed us with family and a community who knows us and loves us and would never let us go without food for us or clothes for the baby. Our means come from beyond ourselves. And we are thankful for that.

Most every night, whenever Caius wakes us up and Elaina and I are half-alive and trying to take care of him…I will look over at my wife. With a groggy voice I will utter simply, “I like our life.” And she smiles at me.

A wise man told me to remember these times that seem tough now. “Because, one day you’ll be employed in a church full-time. Things will be good. Financially good. And, you’ll get comfortable. And, in that comfort you’ll forget each other.”

I like my life because I know I’m alive.

I like my life because I am in a place where I must rely on God for needs.

I like my life because my wife and I have to intentionally love each other in the middle of the uncertainty for the future.

Today, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share with you the names of a few people I keep up with via blogs and Twitter. These folks are influencers, pastors, leaders, and social media gurus. And, in their own way each of them is changing the world around them.

Please, dear reader, take the time to check ‘em all out. Read their blogs and check out their twitter feeds. You’ll like what you see!

Pete Wilson -Pete is the lead pastor at Crosspoint Community Church in Nashville. He’s led this church to open 4 campuses in just over 7 years. Crosspoint is a church that ministers to families while reaching out to the unchurched and the dis-churched. You’ll find that transparency is a defining characteristic of the leadership at Crosspoint (b.t.w. just check out all of the staff at Crosspoint. I follow them all and they’re pretty much all amazing).

You can find Pete’s blog here. Also, check out Crosspoint’s website here.

Sam Davidson -Sam is a blogger,  a non-profit guru, and has a really cool website called CoolPeopleCare.org From what I can tell, Sam’s passion is to connect the GenX and GenY generations to activism in an immediate way. One of the coolest features of his website is 5 Minutes of Caring …you should check it out.

You can also follow Sam on Twitter: @samdavidson

Adam Smith (@jackalopekid) Most people know Adam Smith as Jackalope Kid via his website or Twitter account (he has over 100,000 followers on Twitter…GEEEEZ!) Adam is a connector in the HUGEST sense of the word. He uses his blog as an outlet for causes world-wide and local. And, you’ll find a little humor sprinkled throughout his blog as well.

So, wether you want a Jackalope Kid t-shirt or want more information about how to save the world, go visit his blog.

Michael Kelley  -Michael is a blogger, speaker, and (on the weekdays) a content editor at Lifeway Christian Resources. His blog is actually the source I modeled the style of my own blog from. Michael is a great guy who writes about the Christian life, culture, and his kids on his blog. You should check him out for two reasons:

1) He’s such a great speaker that churches, college groups, and conference-type retreats are hiring him all the time. Srsly, his calendar speaks for itself.  

2) He just wrote another book called Holy Vocabulary that’s just released. Here’s a promo video.

So…those are just a few people that, if you don’t already know them, you should!

Any of you got somebody that I should know about? Leave me a comment and let me know.